Is Black Love in Trouble…Darious Hart

There has always been a negative stigma when it comes to black love in society. Especially how the media tries to make it out as if black women are the only single mothers in society without men in the household. The media is one thing, but sometimes in our own community we have a negative attitude ourselves on our relationships with the opposite sex.
I know you have heard at least one these following statements come from a black man or black woman’s mouth when referring to the opposite sex.  When a black man achieves a certain level of success he gets a woman of another race. Black women are crazy and have too much attitude. Black men are dogs and can’t be faithful. Black women are gold diggers and only want money and thugs. These are things that we say about each other. 
It  may look like to some that we just can’t get it right.  How did we get to a place where we have become so negative about each other? How can we as black men and black women get back to a place where black love is beautiful again?

(Black Minds Black Voices)

I don’t believe black love is in trouble, simply because I don’t believe you can put a color on love. We can blame television and the media for the images they portray of us, but it’s really up to us to prove them wrong.

Often times I see the media and television portray black men and women in a negative stereotype. Often times the woman is a single mother with multiple kids, and the man can be anything from a thug, distant father, working man, etc.. When I see these things I get mad at first but when I really think about it, some of the stuff is true. The media and television can only get what we give them. This is just a reality we grow up in.

Human nature attracts us to the stuff we shouldn’t be attracted too.  Us as black men have to be better. At the end of the day it starts with us, and if we’re better everyone else is better. The way society is set up men are praised for having multiple kids and taking care of them all, but a woman is criticized when she has multiple children, and worst if they’re from different parents. This forces women to have the attitude of, “I don’t need a man, and I can do everything by myself.” As true as it is, no one should ever have to do anything on their own. Especially not raise kids. This stigma has been passed down for generations, and it will keep happening until we put a stop to it. We can blame the media for making this negative image about us, but we have to be better. I think it starts with us black men.


I don’t believe black love is a problem because we can’t put a color on love. I remember I was in the 9th grade, and I had this really good friend (white girl) and I started to develop feelings for her. I told my step dad (at the time) and he told me, “You can’t date no cracka.” I was devastated because this was one of the nicest, kind hearted people I ever met. I was told to not like her for the color of her skin. He didn’t even know her, all he saw was a white girl.

Don’t get me wrong, I love black women. I will always love black women, to me that’s the clearest image of God we see. I was raised by black women, and my life will forever be indebted to them. I just hate the fact that we pressure people into who they should love. We do it, so don’t say you don’t. Black men are always criticized when dating a white woman, but when a white man portrays his image as what some would say, “acting black”, and dating a black woman we accept it. It’s sad.

Love doesn’t have a color and we should let love just be. You don’t have to be with a black woman, or black man to appreciate the culture and to acknowledge what we have done. We should erase the hate in our hearts when we see two people of different races together, and two people of the same sex together. Love is the only thing that can drive out hate, let’s stop passing the hate and let it be. In this day and age all we need is love.

“You don’t fight racism with racism, you fight racism with solidarity.” – Fred Hampton

“Black women are gold diggers, only want thugs, etc.”

Growing up I was rejected before, we all were. I spilled my heart out to this girl in my class, she was into the, “bad boy” type of guy. It hurt, because I wasn’t that type of guy and I felt that all girls wanted that. So I transformed my personality to be something I’m not. I found more girls my age were attracted to that so I did it. It was stupid but I didn’t want to be the only guy not doing it.

“Black women are gold diggers, only want thugs, etc.”

This is just a stereotype, and a stereotype you can’t put on one type of woman. This is a stereotype that extends to ALL RACES. We have to stop putting a color to the things that multiple people do. Yeah I know it upsets you that you always see it, but if it’s not you, just keep it moving. Stop letting these idiots on the television run your life and get to your head, that’s their job. Like I will always say it starts with us men. If we stop projecting the stuff we always see on women that haven’t done anything, then women wouldn’t always have to keep their guard up.

Not all women are gold diggers, not all women want thugs, not all black women have attitudes, it’s just not true. They’re all stereotypes based off a FEW women who have done it in the past. I say ignore it, keep it moving. If someone is going to judge you off what another woman did, then you need to move on. You have to accept the fact that person is an idiot and needs some serious self evaluation.

This country is such in a down place we need to focus on love. These lost children need us to love. They grow up and see hate everywhere. We are the ones who have to change it. Let’s love a woman, love a man, love a child, love your neighbor, love your friend, just love, and hope we can start solving our problems.

About Darious-

   As a 23 year old author and screenwriter, Darious Hart focuses on writing anything that comes to his mind. With many different styles that he can operate from, he focuses more on supernatural, dark literature. Currently living in Newark, NJ, and veteran of the United States Marine Corps, he has found a stronger love for writing as he notices that his everyday interactions with new people from across the nation inspire him with new ideas every day. Darious looks forward to pursuing a career in being one of the world’s most prolific writers, and seeing his films on the big screen one day. He wants to inspire people from all around to pursue their dreams and follow them despite anyone who tells you that you can’t, and believe in yourself even when no one else will.



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